Protecting Your Peace Protects Your Nervous System

We talk a lot about protecting our peace, but we don’t always talk about why it matters so much. Peace isn’t just a feeling. It’s a state your nervous system is either in or out of, and the people, places, and pressures around you play a bigger role in that than most of us realize.

When you’re in an environment that feels unsafe, tense, or draining, your nervous system doesn’t wait for you to think it through. It reacts. And over time, that constant reaction takes a toll on your whole body.

I had an incident not long ago when a relative of mine decided to try to make me feel small while I was sharing an accomplishment. I had just received my Certificate for Holistic Gut Practitioner. Instead of congratulating me, she decided to take my certificate and use it as a fan, which caused it to dent. She was looking for a reaction and hoping I would give it to her. 

I have to make sure I add, that this is her normal. She is and always has been committed to not liking me and treating me bad. She always has since I was a kid. So anytime I know I will be seeing her, I feel irritable. The feeling comes over me and it has even ruined some of my days. I found myself needing to lean into old habits to distract myself but that's not the answer. 

Holding the emotions in adds stress to the nervous system. The anxiety or irritation could get worse. But I decided to take control. 

I refuse to allow anything to put me back in a place that I fought my way out of. Regulating the nervous system is not an overnight process. I have to work at it intentionally everyday. So, I made the decision to transmute the energy. There are certain days she comes around religiously, so I decided to create a schedule that would make me busy during that time doing something that is healing for me. I took my power back. So now a time that brought me dread now brings me joy. I transmuted the energy and you can too. 

You can read more about that story on my Substack: "Stop Waiting for Applause"

Protecting your peace requires you to learn to listen to the body. 

How your body shows it

When your nervous system is pushed into stress mode, you might notice:

• A racing heart or tight chest
• Shallow breathing
• Knots in your stomach, bloating, or other digestion changes
• Headaches, jaw clenching, or tense shoulders
• Trouble sleeping, even when you’re exhausted
• Anxiety, irritability, or feeling on edge
• Brain fog and low energy

Your gut and your nervous system are in constant conversation, which is why stress so often shows up in your body, not just your thoughts.

Step one: notice how you feel

Start paying attention to how your body feels in certain spaces and around certain people. Do you feel tense, small, or drained? Do you feel calm and like yourself? Your body often knows before your mind does.

Some questions to ask yourself:

• Are they committed to not liking me?
• Do they speak negatively to me, or about me?
• Do I leave this space feeling worse than when I arrived?
• Do I dread seeing them, or going there?

If the answer is yes, that’s information, not an overreaction.

Protecting your peace in the places you can’t avoid

In your home or family: You don’t always have to cut people off, but you can change the pattern. Shorten the visit. Replace the usual hangout with something else, like a walk, a meal out, or an activity with a built-in end time. Have a plan for stepping away when conversations turn heated, and give yourself permission to leave.

At work: Take your lunch somewhere else, even if it’s just outside or in your car. If someone’s behavior is crossing a line, document it and report it to the proper department. And if the environment is constantly costing you your peace, it may be time to ask whether it’s the right place for you, and start looking at other options. Sometimes the healthiest boundary is a new job.

In other spaces: The same rule applies to any environment that keeps your nervous system on high alert. You’re allowed to leave, limit your time, or not go back.

Protect your peace from the stress you create, too

Not every threat to your peace is another person. Constantly running late, rushing from one thing to the next, and overcommitting keep your body in fight-or-flight all on their own. Better time management is a form of peace protection. Build in buffer time, plan your mornings the night before, and say no to what doesn’t fit. Arriving calm is worth more than arriving fast.

Transmute the energy

When you can’t avoid a draining moment, give your body a way to release it. Take a slow breath with a long exhale, step outside, shake out your hands, or place a hand over your heart and remind yourself where you are and that you’re safe. Then let it go on purpose, with a walk, music, journaling, or prayer. Don’t carry it with you.

The bottom line

Protecting your peace isn’t selfish or dramatic. It’s how you protect your nervous system, your gut, and your health. Your gut feeling was never wrong. It was your first boundary.

This post is for educational purposes and isn’t medical advice. If stress or anxiety is affecting your daily life, please talk with a healthcare provider.

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With love,
Tori Jae
Founder, Get Balance Now